So you’re taking the 30 day sex challenge, and you’re single. So no sex for 30 days. But what does that mean, exactly? The question in todays guide really got me thinking. I think one of the problems that we, as a culture (and more specifically ME) have, is the idea of the line in the sand. As singles, we can easily spend too much thought and time on trying to figure out where this line is. You ask yourself “what constitutes as sex,” or, “how far is too far?” But, I’m starting to realize that’s the wrong way to think about things. Instead of trying to see what we can “get” or how far we can go, I think it’s time we start honoring each other. I admit, I don’t know exactly what that looks like, but I’m ok with that. I’ve lived the alternative, and it got me inching to the line, then peaking past it, and finally running through it and apologizing later. I don’t want to do that anymore. One of the things I’m most excited about in this challenge is learning how to show someone that I am in this for them, not for me. If you’re like me, most of your relationships look like something out of a counting crows song, a little sad (or maybe a lot) and a little messed up (ha, or maybe a lot). I have been so encouraged by hanging around my married friends, and them showing me the right way to do it. They prove to me it is possible to have a real, loving relationship. They are a living, breathing example of the other thing I feel we are offering singles at our church… and that’s hope.
Daily Archive for February 19th, 2008
Well it is day three of the challenge and quite frankly I don’t think I have met my wife’s emotional needs very well today. Form the interviews to the not sleeping and wanting her to be up with me last night praying (I know that sounds so pastor like but I can honestly say it was awesome) I have just felt like I was not meeting her needs very well. However, as I have spoken with her today she told me that the spiritual connection from early this morning was awesome and fulfilling. Thank you God for an amazing time with You and with the most amazing woman in the world. Guys do not neglect doing this questionnaire because if you do you will miss out on the part that will open up your communication with your wife like never before. Just try it.
Thanks for all of our online participants in the challenge.
My prayer is that as you honor your spouse that God would show up big in your lives. Here are today’s verses for married couples. WOW!! they are awesome. Read them out loud to each other. I think I am behind on my journal because these say day 2 but they are still awesome so read them again.
Philippians 2
1Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic? 2Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose.
3Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. 4Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.
Christ’s Humility and Exaltation
5Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. 6Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. 7He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. 8And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross. 9Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every other name, 10so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
WOW what would this do to our relationships and marriages?
We will talk tomorrow.
Paul
I just read an email from one of our couples that was a great reminder of just how difficult the questionnaire can be. Especially for those of us that have been married for a while. She stated that many tears were shed before she understood what a blessing the open and honest communication was. She went on to thank us and say that, ” these are things we might not have ever shared and now we have the opportunity to get real about it all.” When Paul and I exchanged our questionnaires some 10 years ago now if is makes you feel better, I cried too! I was really upset and thought that he was being unreasonable and superficial. For us it took some time to unpack some even deeper issues! We came to the place that we knew we had to begin with forgiveness on both of our parts. We confessed our short-comings to each other and made a fresh commitment to begin a new. One of the condition for this challenge to be successful (aside from having a relationship with Christ in the center) is to make sure that neither of you are harboring unforgiveness in any area of your life. So getting to the heart of the matter is making sure your hearts are right w/ God and each other.
Have a blessed Day!
Susie
Ok so we are 3 days into the challenge and things are already changing. My wife and I were talking last night and she said that she already feels like we are more connected. I think that as men, sometimes we need “challenges” to step up our game. Maybe it’s the competitive spirit or the fact that this challenge has the word “sex” in it, but I definitely am paying more attention to what I can do to meet her needs as a woman, a wife and a mom. Can’t wait to see how things are after a month!
Relevant Band, originally uploaded by Relevant Church, Tampa.
Here’s a picture from this past Sunday of our band with the new set design for the 30-Sex Challenge. You can find more pics from Sunday and others of what goes on at Relevant on our Flickr page.
I just read an email from one of our couples that was a great reminder of just how difficult the questionnaire can be. Especially for those of us that have been married for a while. She stated that many tears were shed before she understood what a blessing the open and honest communication was. She went on to say that, ” these are things we might not have ever shared and now we have the opportunity to get real about it all.” When we exchanged our questionnaires some 10 years ago now if is makes you feel better, I cried too! I was really upset and thought that he was being unreasonable and superficial. For us it took some time to unpack some even deeper issues and we had to begin with forgiveness on both of our parts. We confessed our short-c0mings to each other and made a fresh commitment to begin a new. One of the condition for this challenge to be successful (aside from having a relationship with Christ in the center) is to make sure that neither of you are harboring unforgiveness in any area of your life. Soo getting to the heart of the matter is making sure your hearts are right w/ God and each other.
Have a blessed Day!
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