It is funny how as a woman, we can totally shut down any intimacy or even the idea of intimacy according to our emotions. By 7:00 am this morning I had already determined that i would not be intimate at all with Paul today if he didn’t take his turn in getting Ashlyn ready for the bus this morning and then decided that he was feeling well enough to go to his scheduled golf tournament! You see, Paul and I take turns just about every other day in getting up with the kids especially Ashlyn because she is “special needs” for those who don’t know, and she gets up extremely early some days. So we have had this mutual agreement for years. But the last few weeks we haven’t really been on the schedule because of the physical and emotional drain of being on radio show after radio show morning and night. Which has really been a great thing, however, my “taker” as Dr. Harley calls it in his books, has risen up and as Popeye says, “I’ve taken all I can stanz and I can’t stanz no more! For Paul’s side, he has had a sore throat for three days now and Anthony and I were in the doctor’s office yesterday and he has strep! So, with all of the extra stress, i have already shut down by 7:00 am. Dr. Harley states that we all have a “giver” and we all have a “taker.” Self explanatory as they are and as justified as i think i am to allow my “taker” to rise up, something interesting happened in the car-ride home from dropping Ashlyn off at school, (yes, she missed her bus this morning!) I was listening to the radio and heard an interview with Chris Tomlin, and they later played his song, “How Great is Our God” my heart was touched as i began to re-focus my mind from “ME” and focus on how great my God is. My selfish heart broke over my “selfish” thoughts and I just sat in my garage singing at the top of my lungs with tears flowing down my face. And in that moment, the third person of God in our relationship rose up and turned my “taker” back into my “giver” again. Christ is the difference in a believer’s life. It is His spirit that is in us that re-focuses our minds and hearts so that we are enabled to do what is right even when we “feel” like doing what is wrong. For this reason, again, I emphasize that this “program” we call the “30daysexchallenge” will not work unless two people are one in body mind and spirit through the redemptive work of the cross in their individual lives. This was made known to me as I listened to a radio personality, who is a female, mention after Paul had gone off the air live, that she wouldn’t have sex when she was angry with her spouse. I wanted to jump on the telephone lines to clarify… your missing it. Your right, no-one wants to be intimate with anyone when there is “stuff” between them, but our plan is to make sure that we are first getting rid of the “stuff” between us through forgiveness. So try forgiveness first. And we can only “forgive, even as we have been forgiven.” Col 3:13 Have you been forgiven?
Susie
Yeah.. When I saw Paul’s weekly Relevant update, your story resounded like crazy with me. I haven’t been feeling good the past few days either, and I really don’t feel like giving much. I’ve been very minimalist, and that’s not the right thing. Thankfully, my wife and I addressed it this evening, and we’re both getting back on track..
I really appreciate what you and your husband are doing. I am married, but have been inspired by the singles on this blog who have really strived to do things God’s way.
My wife wondered if women had been consulted about the idea of sex everyday for 30 days. She enjoys it, but not just that much.
I decided that we would work on our relationship regardless of whether we had sex everyday, I know the better our relationship, the better the sex will be, and we have had some good conversations.
We don’t go to the Relevent Church…don’t even live in the region. But my husband and I, married over 20 years, have taken the challenge. William poses an interesting question about whether women were consulted. I really understand that thought! I’m probably more like his wife, but I chose to take this on faith as an act of commitment and obedience. I will readily admit that it isn’t always the thing I want to do, but as I submit my mind, my heart, my spirit to the covenant of marriage and literally see the sacrifice of Christ in the midst, it is amazing how responsive my heart (and my body!) has been. This has been a precious time of intimacy for us, and a real time of healing. I’m awed at the emotional growth we are experiencing at a truly new level. I pray that God will hugely bless this process in the marriages and lives of all participants.
I would like to speak on behalf of myself and about five of my women friends. We had not heard of this challenge, but a few days ago we started talking and have decided to have sex with our husbands everyday for a month. So as for us, it was the women’s idea. Later, another friend told us to look up this website. We really believe that this is something that can be a blessing to our husbands and can’t wait to see where it will bring us. The reality is that we know that if we are a blessing to our husbands we end up being shown more love by them as well. Women, I really think you should consider committing for the full month. If you really hate it, it only 30 days of your life and you can go back to normal.