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Monthly Archive for February, 2008

I’m taking the challenge - Jake

Published
by
Jarrett
on February 23, 2008
in Taking The Challenge
. 3 Comments

We just got this from Jake.

Paul and Relevant church.

I wanted to share what I have been learning over the last week.

Since the challenge started, I have been really asking God to reveal not only what I can do to please Jennifer, but what I can do to please God. I have had up and down periods of my life when I have become more or less dependent on my own personal sin, then that of keeping my sexual desires solely for my wife. What I mean is, not physically cheating on my wife, but mentally. My eyes have always been my downfall. Going to web sites I shouldnt, feeding off of images that dont gratify and make you feel guilty for doing so.

But over the last week I have avoided images or diverted my eyes from things I shouldnt see, that detract from the purity of my marriage. I have seen that I can win this battle over my lust with God’s help. This isnt to say I havent been tempted or that images that I shouldnt see have graced my screen or my vision, but when those images came up, I quickly diverted my eyes and quickly asked God for pure thoughts. I have also been showing my love for Jennifer with things I have been neglecting and on the house for the incoming baby.

I know the battle isnt over, but as a married man, satan attacks his hardest when we think we are invulnerable to attack. I just wanted to share that God is slowly freeing me of my lust and I want to say that to any married or single men out there, guard your eyes, because even lustfully looking is the same as doing the act itself.

I am incredibly thankful I am forgiven and that God is merciful in His love.

Jacob

Day 6

Published
by
Paul
on February 22, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 0 Comments

WOW!! I just read Ryan’s entry and it was amazing. Ryan I think as a single guy you are really getting the point of this challenge and I am encouraged that your faith is growing.

I must admit that with all of the scheduling of time to meet with people and do interviews that Susie and I have had to really plan on meeting each others needs. I am realizing all over again that this whole idea of meeting each others needs is hard work. Sometimes my selfishness just rises up and I do not want to meet Susie’s needs, but for some reason I still want my needs meet. Is there anyone else who feels like me sometimes? I was wondering do you think Jesus ever got tired of meeting all of the crowds needs? I know on at least one occasion Jesus sent the crowd away because he needed to rest. Sometimes when we are tired it is the hardest time to meet someone needs, but when we meet someone’s needs even when we are tired we act most like Jesus because we are truly sacrificing.

Think about it what have you sacrificed this week for your spouse? How did it make them feel? How did it make you feel to unconditionally sacrifice to meet the needs of your spouse?

Enjoy the journey. If you are just beginning I would like to welcome you and encourage you to check out all of the past blogs so you know where we are going.

Loving, Saving, and Abstaining

Published
by
Ryan
on February 22, 2008
in Taking The Challenge
. 6 Comments

Over the past six days I have been blown away by the amount of attention the “30 day sex challenge” has been getting. I’ve been keeping up with my media, reading the newspaper article, watching the news reports on T.V., and reading others’ blogs on the internet. As I’ve been doing all this I have noticed that most people just want to talk about the married couples challenge of having sex for 30 days straight, but what about the singles challenge of abstaining from sex for 30 days? Nobody seems to want to talk about this, and when they do it is to say, “but shouldn’t a church teach to abstain until marriage?” I believe they are, and being a single younger guy, I’d really like to talk about it. 

Loving. Jesus tells us to love, all throughout the bible. “Love thy neighbor”, “God is Love”, “this is a sign of my Love.” Love, love, love, its everywhere! When I was asked to take the “30 day sex challenge” and abstain from any kind of sexual activity, I may or may not have been doing, I didn’t hear, “Hey Ryan, we don’t want you to have any sexual activity for 30 days because we as a church are telling you not to,” but rather, “hey Ryan, do you Love God enough to hear and listen to what he has to say? We want you to take this challenge because we know God loves you and he wants to help you with issues in your life that may be challenging.” Love is a big part of the challenge. In the six days that it has been going on I’ve totally seen God’s love shining through in my life in so many different ways. 

Saving. Obviously we all know that when we accept God into our hearts he saves us from an eternity of suffering, but we can use the word “save” in so many more ways on top of being “saved”. First, the challenge is teaching me that I should “save” myself for marriage. Why would I want to do that? Maybe you’re wondering if I have had sex before, or if I’ve managed to stay abstinent my entire life….but does it really make any difference? I’ve learned so far through taking the challenge that leaving sex out of a relationship gives me the opportunity to focus more deeply on the kind of person that the girl I am dating is. It gives me chances to get to know her likes and dislikes, what makes her smile when she is mad, how to cheer her up if she is sad, and how to encourage her and be a leader for her when things are not going according to plan in her life. These are things that I feel I would miss if I was focused on having sex with her rather than learning to rain love down on her. Second, the challenge has taught me that everyone needs to be “saved” and deserves an infinite amount of chances in life to make that happen. I say this because I was contacted by someone who was against our challenge. He said that we can’t preach abstinence for just 30 days and that it will just lead to failure and pretty much babies out of wedlock. He told me that he was in the process of excommunicating an 18 year old girl from his church for having two kids and not being married. This hurt my heart to the core. Would Jesus have left her in the desert all alone with her babies because she said she wouldn’t marry? Absolutely not. I believe he would be persistent. He would lift all three of them up, put them on his shoulders, carry them home and say, “I love you,” to which one day, and maybe not right away she would say, “I love you too.” Relevant, through the 30 day sex challenge, has also taught me to be relentless and never give up on anybody. Without the challenge I never would have heard that story and never would have come to that realization. I really hope that 18 year old girl reads this blog and knows that she is loved and that we would never “leave her alone in the desert.” Wow, all of this from a sex challenge? God is good.

Finally, abstaining. I choose to abstain because I feel like it is what is going to be best for me in the long run that is my life. For me it’s all about my future. The challenge is teaching me that abstaining will give me a more meaningful relationship with my future spouse. On, top of that I’m learning that that is what God wants for me in my life. I’m starting to think that this challenge is a win win opportunity. Developing an amazing relationship, while honoring God…honestly, who wouldn’t want to take this challenge?

God is Love.

I’m taking the challenge - Mike

Published
by
relevant church
on February 21, 2008
in Sex Challenge and Taking The Challenge
. 1 Comment

We just received this from Mike

I have had some interesting conversations with work colleagues and friends alike on this challenge of ours. Every person I have talked to seems to have the same question for the singles challenge, “How can you truly progress in a relationship without knowing about such a large part of the relationship with physical and sexual chemistry?” Having been a sexually active single adult male, I have to admit that the thought had crossed my mind. Recently, prior to the 30-day sex challenge, I decided to leave sex out of the scenario and really focus on the woman I was interested in. I have discovered, at least in my own life, that I rushed to see how compatible I was sexually with my past relationships rather than truly getting to know the person I was with and deciding if we were really compatible as a couple.

If you haven’t considered giving this challenge a try I would highly recommend it. All there is to lose is 30 days of some hibidty-dibity, but if you have the results that I have had then you might be surprised to see how truthful you can be with yourself about your relationships. What I mean by that is simple. Before, I took this step of leaving sex out, I had been in several long term relationships where sex had been more of a focus than honestly looking at our personal differences to see if our relationship could stand on it’s own two feet without one of us having to be on our back. Good Luck.

Our favorite news story so far

Published
by
relevant church
on February 21, 2008
in Sex Challenge and Video
. 0 Comments

We have had multiple news outlets cover our challenge.  The best one so far was from Mike and Juliet in the morning on FOX.  It was about an 11 minute piece, and we feel they did an excellent job of telling the whole story.  The hosts even appeared to know the material we were presenting, which was awesome.  Go here to check it out!

Contribute Anonymously

Published
by
relevant church
on February 21, 2008
in Announcement and Sex Challenge
. 0 Comments

Things have been going great so far on this 30 day sex challenge. We have been so encouraged by all of the stories we have heard so far. We would like to invite you to add your story to the blog. Email us at blog@relevantchurch.com so we can post your story. Also, please specify if you want it to be anonymous, and we will make that happen for you.

What’s the Point?

Published
by
Jason
on February 20, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 2 Comments

It’s been an interesting day in the world of the 30-day sex challenge. I’ve had many phone calls and e-mails from literally all over the world about how this challenge affects single adults. The two most common questions have been “what’s the point of encouraging singles to be abstinent for only 30 days?” and “what’s the point of encouraging abstinence altogether?”. I’d like to take a minute and give some explanation. For a lot of single adults, the idea of abstinence has never even been a considerable thought. Sexual activity has become a norm…a regular part in the progression of a relationship or simply a consistently casual activity with whoever, whenever. Our challenge is that us single adults would take 30 days to consider God’s way and remove sex from the equation to focus on who we are, who we are becoming and what is truly defining our relationships. Tragically, for many single adults, sex is the only bond of a relationship leading to complications and emotional emptiness. My hope is that in 30 days, this idea of saving sex for the right context would become a lifestyle that leads to great, healthy relationships.

I actually had the opportunity today to talk to the author of one of the books we recommend in our 30-day guide for singles; her name is Dawn Eden. Her book is aptly titled “The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On.” I have been inspired by much of what she says in her book (which I will be sharing more of as the days go by) about truly finding fulfillment in who you are and without sex as a part of the dating relationship. I would encourage you to check it out, take the 30-day challenge and hopefully see the point in doing life and relationships God’s way.

Counseling Help!

Published
by
susieQ
on February 20, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 0 Comments

Paul and I do NOT claim to be marriage counselors. We just share from our personal experience and from the Bible. Still, we know that many people need professional counseling especially after going through the extensive emotional needs questionnaire, so we want to direct you to the www.marriagebuilders.com site where Dr. Willard Harley and his team locate counselors for you in your local area.

Please let us know if you still cannot locate someone to help professionally after visiting this site, we truly want to help in this area.

Sincerely,

Susie and Paul Wirth

First Step…Learn How To Love!

Published
by
susieQ
on February 20, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 0 Comments

We believe that the Bible is clear on how we love. It is through our teacher’s example, Jesus. read it for yourself in                     1 John 4:7-21

4:7-21
[7] Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. [8] But anyone who does not love does not know God—for God is love.
[9] God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. [10] This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
[11] Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. [12] No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us.
[13] And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. [14] Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. [15] All who proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. [16] We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. [17] And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we are like Christ here in this world.

In a nutshell, man has a problem, called sin that separates us from God. We can only connect to God and learn how to love, when we understand that God’s Son, Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins (remember sin separates us from God) When we confess our sin and believe that Jesus is who He says He is and came and died for us, we then can understand true love. Just think, God’s love is so great for us that He sent His son to live and die on earth just to demonstrate how much HE LOVES US. Wouldn’t you like to accept this love that God offers you through the forgiveness of your sins? All God asks of you is to believe this and accept it. So simple to really know and understand love. Huh?

For more of Jesus story read the Gospel of John! Please let us know if you have further questions!

Walk In Love,

Susie Wirth

The Line in the Sand

Published
by
Jarrett
on February 19, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 9 Comments

So you’re taking the 30 day sex challenge,  and you’re single.  So no sex for 30 days.  But what does that mean, exactly?  The question in todays guide really got me thinking.  I think one of the problems that we, as a culture (and more specifically ME) have, is the idea of the line in the sand.  As singles, we can easily spend too much thought and time on trying to figure out where this line is.  You ask yourself “what constitutes as sex,” or, “how far is too far?”  But, I’m starting to realize that’s the wrong way to think about things.  Instead of trying to see what we can “get” or how far we can go, I think it’s time we start honoring each other.  I admit, I don’t know exactly what that looks like, but I’m ok with that.  I’ve lived the alternative, and it got me inching to the line, then peaking past it, and finally running through it and apologizing later.  I don’t want to do that anymore.  One of the things I’m most excited about in this challenge is learning how to show someone that I am in this for them, not for me.  If you’re like me, most of your relationships look like something out of a counting crows song, a little sad (or maybe a lot) and a little messed up (ha, or maybe a lot).  I have been so encouraged by hanging around my married friends, and them showing me the right way to do it.  They prove to me it is possible to have a real, loving relationship.  They are a living, breathing example of the other thing I feel we are offering singles at our church…  and that’s hope.