Relevant Church is excited to announce the pre-release book/workbook, “30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy” by Paul and Susie Wirth
With all of the buzz about 30 days of sex, 101 days of sex, and even 365 days of sex, we are confident that those who are looking to improve their relationship for the long-run will find that 30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy, will provide them with the knowledge and practical help that they will need in order to grow closer, not just for 30 days, but for the rest of their lives together. 30daysexchallenge takes a holistic approach to intimacy and guides the couple into four mini-challenges: spiritual, emotional, sexual, and physical. After each challenge is met the couple is ready to engage in 30 days of sex. However, the challenge is not just 30 days of sex. We have provided 30 days of questions that encourages continued intimacy in the four areas studied, and will cultivate and promote an environment of love and passion.
But don’t take our word for it. Hear what Dr. David Clarke has to say about the 30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy.
“Do you want to learn how to bond with your spouse spiritually and emotionally? Do you want a better-much better-sex life? Of course you do. I do. We all do. The 30 Day Sex Challenge will help you get the marital intimacy you’ve lost. It’s easy to read, refreshingly honest, intensely practical, and based on the Bible. Best of all, it works!”
David Clarke, Ph.D.
Christian psychologist and author of Cinderella Meets the Caveman
Well here it is guys the workout video you have all been waiting for: Paul’s very own “Sweatin to the 80’s” burst training video. Enjoy the video and have a great workout.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: Anyone beginning a workout when you have not done so in quite sometime should consult a doctor before beginning. Also, if 20 seconds is too much for you at first just do 10 seconds.
Here is a link to Dr Scotts web site. They have some more informational videos on burst training there s well.
Hanz and Franz. Olivia Newton-John and “Let’s Get Physical”. Arnold, and of course, Sly Stallone. The 80’s are full of in shape people, and at Relevant, that’s what we are aiming for. And we mean TOTALLY in shape. Not just a six pack, no, we want more than that. We are working out the body, the mind, the soul, and the church body. We are excited about this journey we’re taking into fitness, and we hope you join us for the ride. We’ve already been visited by Max Headroom, we’ve looked into “The Eye of the Tiger” and we got a glimpse of Paul and his glorious rat tail. Don’t miss a thing, because you know we’ve got more surprises in store!
You have heard the expression like father like son. If you become your parent, how will that effect your relationships? How will you make sure that you don’t fall into the same traps your parents did?
My parents divorced in 2000. And the years just prior to that were not that spectacular for my family. Please, hear this. I have a wonderful relationship with both of my parents, and my brother. But it wasnt always like that…
I used to think the reason my parents split is because of money. After i grew and learned a little more about the situation, I learned that wasn’t it. They split because of a lack of communication, plain and simple. A lack of communication including lies, and covering things up, and being afraid to admit to each other who they were becoming. My dad kept so many things from my mom, and it got to the point where she just couldn’t trust him anymore. The thing that really breaks my heart is that I am not alone. Almost all of my friends parents are divorced, and for many of them, the story is the same. People not communicating, and that leads to hardened hearts. So i watch all of this, in my family and my friends families, and i vow to never be like that. Im gonna be different. And then of course, I get into relationships, and I do the exact same thing. And it all stems from me thinking I simply can’t let this person know who I really am. The struggles I have, the mistakes I make, the demons that haunt me. I’m obviously not married, I’m not even in a relationship right now. But I think something I’m learning is that that’s exactly what marriage is. It’s truly knowing someone. I hope and pray that if I ever meet a girl that feels she really wants to know who I am, that I won’t be afraid to show her. When I feel that little voice in my head, the voice that says she will hate me, or run away if she knows the truth about me, i won’t listen. Because history proves, that will just help me to end up alone. I think, as a christian, our relationship with Christ is the ultimate example of this. He knows everything we have done. Every good and every bad thing. It’s laughable almost, but he knows who I am and pursued me anyway! Please hear me, HE pursued us and still does, even to the point of death on a cross. I hope that one day I will meet a girl, a real flesh and bone girl (and probably a hot one) that will feel like that about me. I just pray to God that I will be prepared for what that means, and not be afraid of letting her see.
In this weeks “singles guide” one day particularly jumped out at me. I know we have been talking a lot about the different levels of connection and intimacy and most of the effort has been focused on actions as far as giving and receiving or meeting each others needs. Obviously meeting each others needs is the point but I think that sometimes when we take the emotional needs test and find out what our needs are we forget to work on some other important areas.
Day 11 struck me as strange. The question asked, “do you talk to much on dates, are you silent?” I am unable to answer this question as it was originally intended, from individual dates, I am not familiar with traditional dating. My experience lies in long term relationships where dates are much fewer and farther between. The same question can still apply however. The biggest hurdle I have found in relationships is simple communication. When you first start a relationship you want to learn all about the other person, you are interested in what they have to say and you ask probing questions. There is a song that has been playing a lot lately reminding me of this fact, a song by Rascal Flatts called “Take me there”. The tag line sings, “I wanna know everything about you, I wanna go down every road you been…” I have to say though that as that relationship progresses and you develop ‘vocal lethargia’ we stop really caring what the other person has to say and are much more concerned about whether or not our words are being heard. Eventually we stop listening at all to anyone but ourselves and look up to find 6 months down the road, we have no idea who this person is sitting next to us. We say we are going through life with them but is it really with or just next to. Do we happen to be running together because we are still choosing to or because it is easier to run at the same pace than to pick it up and try something more challenging. We grow comfortable in where we are and sadly some of us decide that it is easier to stay exactly where we are with exactly the knowledge we have, or don’t have for that matter, assuming everything is going on at the same pace as always.
The problem with this is that every day people change. They grow, learn, stretch and find new and exciting things that in a healthy relationship should be shared together, brought to a point of common understanding and pursued together, challenging each other. More often then not I fear, these relationship and challenges become more of a one man show than a team. We experience more feelings of independence in the most negative way, when we are in a relationship that has forgotten the importance of communication.
The best encouragement I can give, I hate to admit but mostly to myself, is to take this as a wakeup call if you have seen these trends begin to occur. Stop worrying so much about what you have to say and be more concerned about what the other person has to offer. More often than not, the same will be returned and then your partner will actually be interested in hearing whatever it is that you feel should take up precious air and time.
…My story is that I started this challenge on Feb.15th, before I even heard of the church wide challenge. I am a Christian and have been for 16 years now, and have remained abstinent throughout those years. But when I got engaged we started toying with the idea that we are going to get married so it doesn’t really matter right? I just want to say, from experience, that it does matter!! If you are already sexually active when you get married, then what is there to look forward to on your wedding night? It will just be another night together. Because I now have this mindset, I sat my fiance down and talked to him. I said that I wanted our wedding night to be something we looked forward to. Something exciting and amazing!!! Not just another night like the rest. So we made a commitment to abstain from ALL sexual activity until our wedding night. And we were especially not allowed to tease each other, because that would lead to too much. So we are just passing week one and he is already telling me how much he can’t wait to get married!!! And I know I can’t either! We will be married on March 15th and I know it will be wonderful!! I just wanted to say that I think this challenge is a Great idea and thank ya’ll for creating such a buzz about it!
I have been drawn to so much that has been written from the singles
embarking on this journey. How I wish I could rewind the clock and
make different choices. How I wish I could have given myself
completely to my husband. How I wish that at this very moment, I
would have a smile on my face about my past instead of these tears.
Even now in my late 20’s, happily married with kids, there are pieces
of me that I will never have again, pieces of me that feel as if they
have been stolen. I am still living with the choices I made and it
still hurts. It hurts my heart but more importantly, I know that I
disappointed God. I hate the feeling like I want to run and hide from
Him, knowing that I never will be able to. I listened to a terrible
lie, I was totally deceived into thinking that I just wasn’t worth it.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. And do you know who showed me that
I was worth it? My husband. From the first day that I met him he
showed me the love of Jesus. I didn’t know it at the time, and it
took me about a year to accept His gift, but Jesus sent me the most
amazing man who truly has “loved me as Christ loves his church.” (Eph.
5:25). This challenge has really been a great ride so far. Not only
have I been able to take the first steps toward forgiving myself, but
it brought me back to the gift that my husband has been in my life.
Now that I know his needs, I can work on fulfilling them; work on
sacrificing myself in the right, healthy way. It really is all about
Christ’s love for us, and I’m finally seeing that.
My immediate reaction to the series 30 Day Sex Challenge was, how does this topic have anything to do with me? That has been on my list for a while now…
First I feel you should know I am a single woman who has not had sex. As I thought about my question I realized this challenge is more emotional than physical for me. I know, sex is in the title but as you look at the guide there are other emotional needs that I think are important as well.
I have been fortunate enough to surround myself with people that fill many of my emotional needs everyday. Affection, conversation, honesty and openness all with my family and friends. I feel that sexual fulfillment is something that can wait. I’m not saying it is an easy task, however, how much more reward can you receive from finding your emotional needs from friends and family who have been there for you.
This is what God is showing me through the 30 Day Sex Challenge. I am in a place that I am receiving emotional fulfillment without the sex to make life complicated. Over the next 20 some odd days take the challenge and see how you can meet other emotional needs that have been starved in the past. You may discover that it is more important that you find a person who can be your recreational companion than just a casual sex partner.
“I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2
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