Relevant Church Web Site PodcastRelevant Church's YouTubeFlickr Our MySpaceContribute to the Blog

Archive for the 'Sex Challenge' Category

The 30 Day Sex Challenge Book is Here!

Published
by
relevant church
on July 2, 2008
in Announcement and Sex Challenge
. 1 Comment

Relevant Church is excited to announce the pre-release book/workbook, “30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy” by Paul and Susie Wirth

This is the cover for our 30 day sex challenge book.

With all of the buzz about 30 days of sex, 101 days of sex, and even 365 days of sex, we are confident that those who are looking to improve their relationship for the long-run will find that 30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy, will provide them with the knowledge and practical help that they will need in order to grow closer, not just for 30 days, but for the rest of their lives together. 30daysexchallenge takes a holistic approach to intimacy and guides the couple into four mini-challenges: spiritual, emotional, sexual, and physical. After each challenge is met the couple is ready to engage in 30 days of sex. However, the challenge is not just 30 days of sex. We have provided 30 days of questions that encourages continued intimacy in the four areas studied, and will cultivate and promote an environment of love and passion.

But don’t take our word for it. Hear what Dr. David Clarke has to say about the 30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy.

“Do you want to learn how to bond with your spouse spiritually and emotionally? Do you want a better-much better-sex life? Of course you do. I do. We all do. The 30 Day Sex Challenge will help you get the marital intimacy you’ve lost. It’s easy to read, refreshingly honest, intensely practical, and based on the Bible. Best of all, it works!”

David Clarke, Ph.D.
Christian psychologist and author of Cinderella Meets the Caveman


30 Days Down - my learnings

Published
by
Jason
on March 23, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 1 Comment

So the 30-day challenge has come to an end and suffice it say, it’s been an interesting journey. I’m not speaking so much about the overall craziness we’ve had over this thing, but more about my own personal journey and learnings. I have always been one who loves to learn new things. As a child I was always taking something apart to learn how it was put together and was asking questions to know why it worked and what its usefulness was. To this day I love learning new things. But when it comes to my own personal learnings, I’ve never been as excited to figure things out. There is something about the vulnerability that comes with taking yourself apart (or allowing someone else to) to find out how you’re put together and facing your shortcomings, broken pieces and imperfections. Honestly, who really wants to do that?

That’s really what this challenge has been about though. It’s not been easy for everyone, including myself. So, here are some things I’ve learned on this journey:

I’ve learned my top emotional needs (a few of which are affection, attractive spouse, honesty & openness). I stepped into this part a little reluctantly because, let’s be honest, most guys don’t want to talk about emotional needs. I’m glad I did it though, because so many things make sense for me now. Such as why I’m driven to act certain ways in relationships, why I react to statements or situations the way I do, why some attitudes annoy me and why past relationships just didn’t work out.

I’ve learned that great relationships take a whole lot of work…more than I think I am willing to put in sometimes. Mostly because I’m selfish a lot. And with that, I’ve learned that I am scared to death of marriage.

I’ve learned that I need to better clarify for my relationships where the line is of going too far physically…and be mature enough to fight like crazy to not go over that line while having the right accountability to help.

I’ve learned, once again, that I am not perfect…nor will I ever be. Which, for a perfectionist is a tough lesson.

Finally, I’ve learned that a lifestyle of saving sex for marriage is not easy…sometimes I hate waiting. But, I’ve learned that sex is most rewarding, unmatched, and truly amazing when experienced in the right context.

These are just a few of the things I’ve learned. My hope is that you have learned some things about yourself as well over these past 30 days. My hope is that you will continue on this journey, continue learning, and turn 30 days into a lifestyle.

An average day at the office during the challenge

Published
by
relevant church
on March 18, 2008
in Sex Challenge and Video
. 2 Comments

30 day sex challenge conclusion (look at post under video for survey link)

Published
by
Paul
on March 17, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 2 Comments

 

30 Day Survey is up and running

Published
by
Paul
on March 16, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 0 Comments

Yes you heard it right we want to hear from you.  If you have taken the challenge then we want your feedback.  So if you could take this anonymous survey we would really appreciate it.  This will help us evaluate the effectiveness of the challenge and also help us make necessary changes to the challenge as we prepare it for other people. Thanks again for you help.  CLICK HERE FOR THE SURVEY.

Like Father Like Son

Published
by
relevant church
on March 15, 2008
in Sex Challenge and Taking The Challenge
. 1 Comment

We just received this from John

You have heard the expression like father like son. If you become your parent, how will that effect your relationships? How will you make sure that you don’t fall into the same traps your parents did?

My parents divorced in 2000. And the years just prior to that were not that spectacular for my family. Please, hear this. I have a wonderful relationship with both of my parents, and my brother. But it wasnt always like that…

I used to think the reason my parents split is because of money. After i grew and learned a little more about the situation, I learned that wasn’t it. They split because of a lack of communication, plain and simple. A lack of communication including lies, and covering things up, and being afraid to admit to each other who they were becoming. My dad kept so many things from my mom, and it got to the point where she just couldn’t trust him anymore. The thing that really breaks my heart is that I am not alone. Almost all of my friends parents are divorced, and for many of them, the story is the same. People not communicating, and that leads to hardened hearts. So i watch all of this, in my family and my friends families, and i vow to never be like that. Im gonna be different. And then of course, I get into relationships, and I do the exact same thing. And it all stems from me thinking I simply can’t let this person know who I really am. The struggles I have, the mistakes I make, the demons that haunt me. I’m obviously not married, I’m not even in a relationship right now. But I think something I’m learning is that that’s exactly what marriage is. It’s truly knowing someone. I hope and pray that if I ever meet a girl that feels she really wants to know who I am, that I won’t be afraid to show her. When I feel that little voice in my head, the voice that says she will hate me, or run away if she knows the truth about me, i won’t listen. Because history proves, that will just help me to end up alone. I think, as a christian, our relationship with Christ is the ultimate example of this. He knows everything we have done. Every good and every bad thing. It’s laughable almost, but he knows who I am and pursued me anyway!  Please hear me, HE pursued us and still does, even to the point of death on a cross. I hope that one day I will meet a girl, a real flesh and bone girl (and probably a hot one) that will feel like that about me. I just pray to God that I will be prepared for what that means, and not be afraid of letting her see.

Susie’s day 27 update

Published
by
Paul
on March 14, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 0 Comments

Day 18 from Paul and Susie

Published
by
Paul
on March 6, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 1 Comment

An Exerpt From Day 12

Published
by
Jarrett
on March 1, 2008
in Sex Challenge and Taking The Challenge
. 4 Comments

If you are a Christ-follower, what influence does faith have on your dating decisions?

That is part of the question from day 12. I want to give my answer to that question, which may or may not make sense. How’s that for a disclaimer?

My faith is the most important thing in my life. It’s basically how i make all of my decisions. But i recognize that the way i live out my faith is probably pretty different from a lot of people, and I think that’s ok. So first and foremost, for me to be in a serious dating relationship, you have to have “a faith in Jesus”. That’s pretty vague, but that’s on purpose. I know people will quote the “equally yolked” verse, but who knows exactly what that means. If you have a faith, and you are honestly trying to live it, then you make the cut. From there it gets tricky. Something that is personally important to me is balance. I think as people we often spend too much time dealing with and living in extremes. I don’t think that’s the best way to live. So, I like a girl who can have balance. And i think the most important area to have balance in is our culture. I want a girl who is comfortable with Christ and culture. I want to be able to sit and talk about calvanism vs arminianism. But i also want to go see the new Will Ferrell movie. And I want to go talk about it after… in a bar… over drinks. I want a girl who can encourage me in my faith, but who can also realize that quoting a simple bible verse at me when I’m upset probably won’t cut it. I want to listen to Derek Webb with her, and then tell her why Tupac is the greatest artist that has ever lived. So yes, faith is very important to me. But most important is a girl with a mature faith that realizes we are in this world, this culture, and she’s not afraid of it.

Giver and Taker

Published
by
susieQ
on February 29, 2008
in Sex Challenge
. 4 Comments

It is funny how as a woman, we can totally shut down any intimacy or even the idea of intimacy according to our emotions. By 7:00 am this morning I had already determined that i would not be intimate at all with Paul today if he didn’t take his turn in getting Ashlyn ready for the bus this morning and then decided that he was feeling well enough to go to his scheduled golf tournament! You see, Paul and I take turns just about every other day in getting up with the kids especially Ashlyn because she is “special needs” for those who don’t know, and she gets up extremely early some days. So we have had this mutual agreement for years. But the last few weeks we haven’t really been on the schedule because of the physical and emotional drain of being on radio show after radio show morning and night. Which has really been a great thing, however, my “taker” as Dr. Harley calls it in his books, has risen up and as Popeye says, “I’ve taken all I can stanz and I can’t stanz no more! For Paul’s side, he has had a sore throat for three days now and Anthony and I were in the doctor’s office yesterday and he has strep! So, with all of the extra stress, i have already shut down by 7:00 am. Dr. Harley states that we all have a “giver” and we all have a “taker.” Self explanatory as they are and as justified as i think i am to allow my “taker” to rise up, something interesting happened in the car-ride home from dropping Ashlyn off at school, (yes, she missed her bus this morning!) I was listening to the radio and heard an interview with Chris Tomlin, and they later played his song, “How Great is Our God” my heart was touched as i began to re-focus my mind from “ME” and focus on how great my God is. My selfish heart broke over my “selfish” thoughts and I just sat in my garage singing at the top of my lungs with tears flowing down my face. And in that moment, the third person of God in our relationship rose up and turned my “taker” back into my “giver” again. Christ is the difference in a believer’s life. It is His spirit that is in us that re-focuses our minds and hearts so that we are enabled to do what is right even when we “feel” like doing what is wrong. For this reason, again, I emphasize that this “program” we call the “30daysexchallenge” will not work unless two people are one in body mind and spirit through the redemptive work of the cross in their individual lives. This was made known to me as I listened to a radio personality, who is a female, mention after Paul had gone off the air live, that she wouldn’t have sex when she was angry with her spouse. I wanted to jump on the telephone lines to clarify… your missing it. Your right, no-one wants to be intimate with anyone when there is “stuff” between them, but our plan is to make sure that we are first getting rid of the “stuff” between us through forgiveness. So try forgiveness first.  And we can only “forgive, even as we have been forgiven.”  Col 3:13 Have you been forgiven?

Susie