Things have been going great so far on this 30 day sex challenge. We have been so encouraged by all of the stories we have heard so far. We would like to invite you to add your story to the blog. Email us at blog@relevantchurch.com so we can post your story. Also, please specify if you want it to be anonymous, and we will make that happen for you.
Archive for the 'Sex Challenge' Category
It’s been an interesting day in the world of the 30-day sex challenge. I’ve had many phone calls and e-mails from literally all over the world about how this challenge affects single adults. The two most common questions have been “what’s the point of encouraging singles to be abstinent for only 30 days?” and “what’s the point of encouraging abstinence altogether?”. I’d like to take a minute and give some explanation. For a lot of single adults, the idea of abstinence has never even been a considerable thought. Sexual activity has become a norm…a regular part in the progression of a relationship or simply a consistently casual activity with whoever, whenever. Our challenge is that us single adults would take 30 days to consider God’s way and remove sex from the equation to focus on who we are, who we are becoming and what is truly defining our relationships. Tragically, for many single adults, sex is the only bond of a relationship leading to complications and emotional emptiness. My hope is that in 30 days, this idea of saving sex for the right context would become a lifestyle that leads to great, healthy relationships.
I actually had the opportunity today to talk to the author of one of the books we recommend in our 30-day guide for singles; her name is Dawn Eden. Her book is aptly titled “The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On.” I have been inspired by much of what she says in her book (which I will be sharing more of as the days go by) about truly finding fulfillment in who you are and without sex as a part of the dating relationship. I would encourage you to check it out, take the 30-day challenge and hopefully see the point in doing life and relationships God’s way.
Paul and I do NOT claim to be marriage counselors. We just share from our personal experience and from the Bible. Still, we know that many people need professional counseling especially after going through the extensive emotional needs questionnaire, so we want to direct you to the www.marriagebuilders.com site where Dr. Willard Harley and his team locate counselors for you in your local area.
Please let us know if you still cannot locate someone to help professionally after visiting this site, we truly want to help in this area.
Sincerely,
Susie and Paul Wirth
We believe that the Bible is clear on how we love. It is through our teacher’s example, Jesus. read it for yourself in 1 John 4:7-21
4:7-21
[7] Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. [8] But anyone who does not love does not know God—for God is love.
[9] God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. [10] This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
[11] Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. [12] No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us.
[13] And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. [14] Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. [15] All who proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. [16] We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. [17] And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we are like Christ here in this world.
In a nutshell, man has a problem, called sin that separates us from God. We can only connect to God and learn how to love, when we understand that God’s Son, Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins (remember sin separates us from God) When we confess our sin and believe that Jesus is who He says He is and came and died for us, we then can understand true love. Just think, God’s love is so great for us that He sent His son to live and die on earth just to demonstrate how much HE LOVES US. Wouldn’t you like to accept this love that God offers you through the forgiveness of your sins? All God asks of you is to believe this and accept it. So simple to really know and understand love. Huh?
For more of Jesus story read the Gospel of John! Please let us know if you have further questions!
Walk In Love,
Susie Wirth
So you’re taking the 30 day sex challenge, and you’re single. So no sex for 30 days. But what does that mean, exactly? The question in todays guide really got me thinking. I think one of the problems that we, as a culture (and more specifically ME) have, is the idea of the line in the sand. As singles, we can easily spend too much thought and time on trying to figure out where this line is. You ask yourself “what constitutes as sex,” or, “how far is too far?” But, I’m starting to realize that’s the wrong way to think about things. Instead of trying to see what we can “get” or how far we can go, I think it’s time we start honoring each other. I admit, I don’t know exactly what that looks like, but I’m ok with that. I’ve lived the alternative, and it got me inching to the line, then peaking past it, and finally running through it and apologizing later. I don’t want to do that anymore. One of the things I’m most excited about in this challenge is learning how to show someone that I am in this for them, not for me. If you’re like me, most of your relationships look like something out of a counting crows song, a little sad (or maybe a lot) and a little messed up (ha, or maybe a lot). I have been so encouraged by hanging around my married friends, and them showing me the right way to do it. They prove to me it is possible to have a real, loving relationship. They are a living, breathing example of the other thing I feel we are offering singles at our church… and that’s hope.
Well it is day three of the challenge and quite frankly I don’t think I have met my wife’s emotional needs very well today. Form the interviews to the not sleeping and wanting her to be up with me last night praying (I know that sounds so pastor like but I can honestly say it was awesome) I have just felt like I was not meeting her needs very well. However, as I have spoken with her today she told me that the spiritual connection from early this morning was awesome and fulfilling. Thank you God for an amazing time with You and with the most amazing woman in the world. Guys do not neglect doing this questionnaire because if you do you will miss out on the part that will open up your communication with your wife like never before. Just try it.
Thanks for all of our online participants in the challenge.
My prayer is that as you honor your spouse that God would show up big in your lives. Here are today’s verses for married couples. WOW!! they are awesome. Read them out loud to each other. I think I am behind on my journal because these say day 2 but they are still awesome so read them again.
Philippians 2
1Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic? 2Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose.
3Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. 4Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.
Christ’s Humility and Exaltation
5Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. 6Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. 7He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. 8And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross. 9Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every other name, 10so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
WOW what would this do to our relationships and marriages?
We will talk tomorrow.
Paul
I just read an email from one of our couples that was a great reminder of just how difficult the questionnaire can be. Especially for those of us that have been married for a while. She stated that many tears were shed before she understood what a blessing the open and honest communication was. She went on to thank us and say that, ” these are things we might not have ever shared and now we have the opportunity to get real about it all.” When Paul and I exchanged our questionnaires some 10 years ago now if is makes you feel better, I cried too! I was really upset and thought that he was being unreasonable and superficial. For us it took some time to unpack some even deeper issues! We came to the place that we knew we had to begin with forgiveness on both of our parts. We confessed our short-comings to each other and made a fresh commitment to begin a new. One of the condition for this challenge to be successful (aside from having a relationship with Christ in the center) is to make sure that neither of you are harboring unforgiveness in any area of your life. So getting to the heart of the matter is making sure your hearts are right w/ God and each other.
Have a blessed Day!
Susie
Ok so we are 3 days into the challenge and things are already changing. My wife and I were talking last night and she said that she already feels like we are more connected. I think that as men, sometimes we need “challenges” to step up our game. Maybe it’s the competitive spirit or the fact that this challenge has the word “sex” in it, but I definitely am paying more attention to what I can do to meet her needs as a woman, a wife and a mom. Can’t wait to see how things are after a month!
I just read an email from one of our couples that was a great reminder of just how difficult the questionnaire can be. Especially for those of us that have been married for a while. She stated that many tears were shed before she understood what a blessing the open and honest communication was. She went on to say that, ” these are things we might not have ever shared and now we have the opportunity to get real about it all.” When we exchanged our questionnaires some 10 years ago now if is makes you feel better, I cried too! I was really upset and thought that he was being unreasonable and superficial. For us it took some time to unpack some even deeper issues and we had to begin with forgiveness on both of our parts. We confessed our short-c0mings to each other and made a fresh commitment to begin a new. One of the condition for this challenge to be successful (aside from having a relationship with Christ in the center) is to make sure that neither of you are harboring unforgiveness in any area of your life. Soo getting to the heart of the matter is making sure your hearts are right w/ God and each other.
Have a blessed Day!